Comic Relief and Sport Relief


Each March two things happen. In the world of the Eurovision Fandom, and National Broadcaster, it’s when the countdown has ended, and so has any national selections, and with them any tinkering or revamps of songs. Here in the UK it’s our yearly attempt to feel better for ourselves as we give millions of pounds to the charities of Comic and Sport Relief.

For those who may never have come across these before, (probably speaking to those outside of the UK), they are a yearly appeal held to raise money for UK and originally African cause, but now global ones. Half being given to each the UK and the world. Starting in 1988, Comic Relief was created with the BBC, as a way the UK could raise funds by being “Funny for Money”. From the January there is programmes on the BBC, either new or celebrity versions, to make famous people look stupid. All this leads to a live telethon on Prime Time Friday night BBC One, which ends in the early morning. In 2002 a Sporting version was held to fill the alternate years that Comic Relief was not hosted, with the goal of inspiring the nation to be sporty for money.

With over a billion pounds raised over Comic Relief’s history it has helped thousands of people all over the world. This is an amazing charity and annual event, but one feature of each year’s appeal has become a less visible as the years have gone on, to the point it was actually absent from this years Comic Relief. The Official Single.

Each year we normally get an official single to help raise even more money. Traditionally a comic song, it has just become a song which has been attributed to that years appeal. But this is a missed opportunity.

To help raise more money and increase international attention to both charities, BBC Eurovision should work jointly with them.

BBC Eurovision should do a great charity concert, that is our national selection. All the profits go to that years appeal and the winner, as well as being that years entry, will be the official single of either Comic or Sport Relief. This will help in so many ways.

  1. Bring the country behind our entry.
  2. It will be a massive advert for our song in the UK, and raise more money.
  3. Inspire better artists and big names to take part in the National Selection.
  4. It will make the National Selection and Eurovision in extension look more of a respectable endeavour.
  5. Help generate better music which will be better received in the contest.
  6. The better the song, the more sales on the continent, and therefore more money.
  7. Helps make the contest’s ethos of coming together (preferably without a towel), be more or an ethos, and actualised.

Need I say more.

Image result for red nose day lenny henry
Lenny Henry and Joanna Lumley celebrating Comic Relief 1993 wearing that years themed Red Nose of a tomato.

British Buffet Ideas


After a brief conversation with it’s writer, I compiled a list to include as many British stereotypes, character traits, cultural references and of course food, about the United Kingdom. I didn’t include any Northern Irish traits, because of they generally seen as general Irish traits and I didn’t want to anger Irish people, who may think I was treating the Republic as part of the UK. I love Ireland and their people. My Scottish heritage is a kindred spirit to the Celtic Emerald Isle. Always our EQUAL, never our lesser or dominion. Peace Peace Love Love across the Irish Sea.

  • General British

    • Food

      • Bakewell Tarts

      • Worcestershire Sauce

      • Yorkshire Puddings

      • Pork Pies

      • Scotch Eggs

      • Birds Custard

      • Roast Meat

      • Tea

      • Chicken Tikka Missala

      • Fish and Chips

    • Character Traits

      • Stiff Upper Lip

      • Bulldog/Blitz Spirit

      • Emotionless (English Southerners)

      • Obsessed with Etiquette

      • Obsessed with Royalty

      • Nostalgic about anything and everything

    • Fashion

      • Punk (Vivienne Westwood)

      • Biba

      • Swinging Sixties

        • Carnarby Street

          • Lonsdale Gym

    • Cars

      • Mini

      • Morris Minor

      • Jaguar

  • Scotland

    • Kilts

    • Whisky

    • Salmon

    • Bagpipes

    • Tunnock’s Confectionery

    • Lock Ness Monster

    • Irn Bru

    • Drunks

    • Stingy

    • Inventive (Loads of Inventions)

    • Haggis

  • Wales

    • Daffodiles

    • A Nation of Singers

    • Male Voice Choirs

    • Leak Eaters

    • Sheep Shaggers

  • Northerners (England)

    • Love Pies

    • More Manufacturing

    • Friendlier

  • East Anglian

    • Mustard Farmers

    • Turnip Farmers

    • Incestuous

    • Extra fingers or toes, mainly because of the above.

So Many More, Like Black Cabs, Double Decker Buses, Mr Bean, and The Royal Mail.

And of course, our famously bad teeth.


But less said about Brexit the better. 😦 Sorry

SWOT Matrix of H.W.E.S.C.


Hopefully reading this you will see that this is not just an “idea” but a two part plan strategised  over the past eighteen months.

1st Part: How to Get Big Names To Take Part

2nd Part: How Big Names Will Change Public/Press//Artistic Perception and Usher in a New Era of Eurovision (not just here, but in the whole Europe)

I do need to go back though and omit the charity idea as that wont work, and set out my plan in these two parts.

One day we will win.

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